Incoming Transformers Age of Extinction rant. Well, not really a rant, but an explanation for my “meh” reaction when people ask me if I liked it. It wasn’t terrible. Still, for anyone who hasn’t seen the movie, this isn’t really a spoiler, but if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t wanna read anything about a movie you might see (especially if it’s slightly negative) you might wanna look away at this time.
Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Doo de doo…..
For all the critical acclaim and smashing reviews the fourth installment of Transformers is receiving, this movie COMPLETELY negates the story of the other three while simultaneously continuing it somehow. Seriously, a multiverse is imploding somewhere, getting timey wimey bits all over everything.
Honestly, I think this stuff bothers me because I’m a writer. I can’t ignore it! Even if I wanted to. And I try, believe me. Still, these are the largest issues I find with the series’ continuity, with visual aids!
In the first movie, before time began, there was…the cube. We know not where it comes from, only that is has the power to create worlds and fill them with life. That is how the Transformer race was born. Verbatim.
Second movie, after the race is born, you have those who were there in the beginning called the Primes.
Ancient leaders that died to protect the Matrix of Leadership.
No idea what it was other than a trigger to a death machine and an NBE defibrillator, but cool. Don’t need all the details.
Movie three, not much talk about origins, just the war and who fought it. Another Prime shows up, so there’s that. Continuation, fine.
Fourth movie, something about the Creators on a Noah’s Ark of a spaceship running around collecting transformium or whatever cause that’s what the Transformers use for power or fuel.
NO mention of energon from the first three movies. AND! And, if this ship has been doing that since the time of the dinosaurs, then why did the Primes need the big machine hidden in the pyramid to harvest suns? WAY after.
Oh, and these Creators mentioned? Optimus knows they exist, but doesn’t know who they are. But they are not the cube, which was mentioned in the first movie. And there was no mention of the Primes, either. Or the sun-eating death machine.
So, to recap:
Movie One – Created by Cube/All Spark, which lands on earth about 12,000 years before the movie starts.
Movie Two – After created, Primes go around space using machine to collect energon (Transformer life blood) from suns. Side note: If the Cube landed on earth some twelve thousand years ago, why wouldn’t the Primes just look for it instead of trying to take out the sun? They got there in time to hide the machine in a pyramid, which is only…4,000 – 5,000 years old, give or take a few centuries, so the cube was already there. Megatron found it, why couldn’t they? Since it’s all powerful and endless and stuff. Just asking.
Movie Three – More stuff about Primes. And a space bridge, which is capable of transporting entire planets across time and space.
Forgot to mention that earlier. Not sure why Megatron wasn’t looking for the bridge in the first movie, unless Sentinel Prime’s ship didn’t land on the moon until AFTER the Decepticon who crushed the Mars rover flew by and saw nothing was there.
But since the Ark, Sentinel’s ship, actually crashed in 1961..yeah…Timey wimey.
Movie Four – No all spark, no primes, no sun-eating machine to produce energon, just…the creators. And knights. And on the subject of knights, how did the ship know what the heck a HUMAN MEDIEVAL knight’s armor looked like WAY back then in order to input the data so Optimus could grab Transcalibur and transform to look like one?
Continuity my butt. Earth to Michael Bay, I like your movies man, but you need better writers.
To my friends and family, if you liked the movie, that’s fine. No judgement. I enjoyed the funny parts, and the film was visually stunning. Plus the Beast Wars fan in me went full-on-fan-bananas when the Dinosaurs showed up.
Yeah, not gonna even ask about that one. I love Transformers. I loved the toys and cartoons as a kid, I’ve loved the movies. Mostly. That being said, if you don’t hear from me over the next few days, it’s cause I fell into one of these gaping plot holes…